Categories
Poems

Obsession of Adjectives

Poem performance of Obsession of Adjectives by Surya T

A new adjective, an identifier
The hour hasn’t changed since the last
A new term to learn
A new unwritten rule yet to rule lives

A crisis of identity beyond comprehension
Compounded by the net of lies and misinformation
Disguised as science and allyship
Profiting off the mentality of
Submission, subjugation, and self-flagellation

Never before has language shifted gears so quickly
Obnoxious, narcissistic, virtuous, or whatever
That you wish to name it
This shift shall collapse us and you too

We are reaching an age of language
Ignorance and stereotyping – celebrated under the guise
Of uniqueness and individuality
Truth becomes subjective and each to their own?

Life’s each moment passes with a question
Who’s the next victim and what’s their struggle?
What’s the next law I must abide by?
What words I must condemn and hate?
What opinions and beliefs I must inculcate?
To not hurt, to not offend, to not cause YOU trouble
For the burden you bear each day
Is but naught compared to Hercules

This obsession of adjectives, I do not understand
Words upon words that can mean anything
A slight change to an existing definition
An article, a word, a spelling that but doesn’t change
Any meaning or corrupt the definition
So that you can claim struggles for your own
So that you can be treated with sympathy
Sympathy that you interpret as respect
Respect that you can never earn by who you are
Except by forcing me to do so by law

Each word can now mean anything
Oops! Another adjective has arrived
What is this obsession around adjectives?
Adding words to describe yourself because
You don’t know how else to describe yourself
Or understand yourself in the least
Adding words to categorize yourself as oppressed
The victims who need to be saved
Yet claiming no one can change to stop the oppression
To serve in a circle of “perceived” benefits
Through torture or by force from others
By laws that seem to destroy the very thing
You keep claiming to want to save
Because you couldn’t think beyond the words
Beyond the exoticity of what’s being said
What’s being uttered out of your own mouth
Because the illusion you created for yourself
Will shatter the moment you think one step deeper

Because the entire narrative represses your ability,
Your need, and desire to think for yourself,
To operate as an independent being,
To be aware of your own self,
To be comfortable with the reality of not knowing everything,
To have a lot more of yourself to explore,
To know that in the crisis of identity,
You are not alone in the struggle

Believing that facts are opinions
When they don’t further or fit your narrative
Dig a little deeper, into the world, into yourself
Identity takes a while to form but is never whole
There’s still a lot to explore even when you’re no more
What you feel today and categorize yourself
It neither helps you nor anyone else
Why this obsession for labels?

Why do you suffer violence with speech?
A few missing words, a name of the past
Enough to traumatize you and scar you
Than those who see death and worse before breakfast everyday

Why the obsession to label yourself?
When your attention span won’t last longer than a sentence
You have a description longer than “War and Peace”
With your own words in a constant war
Among each other, destined never to achieve peace

Why do you believe no one understands your life?
Is this an attempt to showcase your inconveniences
Under the guise of oppression?
Yet never be satisfied enough with any change
Because there’s nothing large enough to fill the void
You created within yourself

Why do you put responsibility on everyone else?
Because you are now spotless or clean
That your life is a consequence of someone else’s work
Of someone else’s thoughts and actions?
Or is it because it is easy to live in denial
Than believe you can mold your own life.

Why this obsession with adjectives?
To categorize everything and everyone you see
With identifiers that require a book to fit
For people who can’t go more than a second
Without talking about themselves
Claiming they are trying to be saviors
In a fight that exists only in their head

Why this obsession to categorize?
To put everyone in boxes, trying to educate the others
That your own struggles are unique
That no one else ever felt the way you can possibly feel
That rewards are automatically deserved, not earned
That working isn’t cool enough for you to do it
Yet blame everyone else for the ills you dealt with your own hand

Why this obsession with adjectives?
Because it makes delegation, sorry, evasion of responsibility easy?
Because it is easy to live in denial
Than believe that you can mold your own life.

Surya Teja

Categories
Poems

Mission Survival:Loading

The inevitable moment’s approaching near
despite the enormous efforts to evade
the moment inches ever closer
what could have I done to prevent this?

Food supplies are running out
Water’s holding steady; so is air
could I survive on this for long?
science, find a way soon, please

Maybe if I ration the food?
Maybe if I am okay with half the portion
Maybe if I could reduce consumption
or just go starving for longer?

Maybe the next time won’t be like this
“get more supplies” I told myself
Maybe next time I’ll be more cautious
“Get more supplies” I repeated to myself

“Must I do this?” I asked myself
Shoes, check; Gloves, check; mask, check;
“Must I do this?” I asked myself
I sighed as I saw my food stores empty

“You can do this” I reassured myself
“It’s not that difficult”
“You’ve done it so many times before”
“You’ll survive the mission”

I pulled up to the store
It looked menacing, threats everywhere
little to no control on the enemy attacks
I must succeed in this mission

The mission objective was clear
Evade all personnel
Gather items for the sacrifice & escape unscathed
Good luck in your mission, cadet

-Surya T

Categories
Poems

Instrumental


the song started playing on Spotify
synths setting the mood
sounds of birds and wind moving gently
and the ambience of emotions running high

the guitars started one by one
the bass went first, whole notes only
then came the rest, slow temo
then the piano

never came the vocals
nor was there a need for
the instruments spoke to me
what they wanted to convey was conveyed

words captivate, limit, and define
never knew words cause such things
my thoughts drifted across
each more vivid than the one before

the music moved all across teh scale
each note perfectly planned
emotions ran high in my head
I don’t’ want this song to stop

words have limited and defined my thinking
music itself is a language
I just started comprehending
Maybe it’s the ultimate language

-Surya T

Categories
Writing Experience

Something a lot of people missed in the Shiva Trilogy by Amish

I wanted to talk about how the entire Shiva trilogy by Amish comes together as a beautifully written masterpiece. I’ve read the entire trilogy once before and parts of it in between.

Recently, I decided to read the trilogy again. I wanted to learn the way books need to be structured when making them into a series as well as the way the characters are to be developed as I am working on a trilogy myself called “The Medal of Time”.

In the first book, a hooded figure attacks Sati when Shiva meets her for the first time near a temple. There seems to be a pure focus on the mission for the hooded figure. The second time, the same figure attacks the travelling party from Mount Mandar which consists of Shiva, Sati, Veerini, and a band of Arishtanemi to protect them. The hooded figure attacks anyone except Sati. When it comes to Sati, the hooded figure just stops fighting and defends himself.

Later on, in the second book, we find out that the hooded figure is Ganesh, the “presumed” still-born of Sati. The hooded figure is Sati’s son and in the first book, all he wants is his mother. In all his attempts, all he wants is his mother. A small boy yearning for his mother’s embrace. He would go to any length and take on any harm for her just so that she is back in his life! Ganesh, the hooded figure, just wants his mother and the way he defends himself without hurting her at all is just so perfectly written!

I tip my hat to you, sir! There’s a lot I have to learn from you

Surya T

Categories
Poems

Beware them, o Mortals!

His slumber washed off
and his eyes opened
millennia after he closed
the creator is now awake

he looked at his creations
that he left to their own
to brood, breed, and bake bread
while he took a little rest

he was shocked to see the scene
aghast when he heard history
appalled at the state of his child
he decided to stop this

he stood upon his pedestal
and struct hi drums as a call
he was in a rage so furious
he was too angry to even think

the horrors I hear you committed
under the guise of being my soldiers
lives taken mercilessly and
Even worse things done to those alive

is this what you call devotion?
is this your form of worship?
peace, love, and kindness
these were all that you needed

do you take I have no anger?
fo you take I’m but merciful only?
you maim each other, hurt
and kill in each other in my name?

do you expect applause?
A commendation of valor for your murder?
do you think I created soldiers?
or just creatures in my own image?

who gave you the right
to hurt thy neighbour and family
who gave you the right
to hurt creatures that are my beloved

did those charlatans tell you?
that you are the mightiest?
you are my servants
and you serve me in my wishes

did those charlatans tell you
that I demand sacrifice from you
I merely created you to assist
because I couldn’t do it alone

did those charlatans tell you
what my wishes were
that you are able to fight anyone
who doesn’t believe in me

who gave them the right?
they are self-proclaimed
cowards, masquaraders, and knaves
claiming to talk to me

oh, what have I done
just a moment’s rest, I thought
everything will be alright
they can take care of themselves

you proved me wrong once and for all
hear this, o mortals
my truth has been twisted by cowards
masquerading as my spokesperson

beware them, O mortals!
do not fall for their lies
do not fall for their propaganda
lift the veils of their lies!

Surya T

Categories
Poems

Something’ll come up

I sat in front of the computer
blank screen with a blinking cursor
silent in their stance; loud in judgment
mocking my inability to write

I struggled to write a coherent thought
a few words, garbled across the screen
promptly deleted to make space for more
my thoughts themselves feel invalid

I should write something today
I put myself on a deadline
can’t let resistance beat me today
can’t let it beat me today

I hope something’ll come up
as I dutifully prepare my coffee
its gonna be a long session
maybe I have to go all night long

Surya T

Categories
Poems

The Dark room

The room was dark, no light in or out
The sound of silence pervaded through
Across the darkness around me
as it blanketed me within

I cover myself in a blanket for warmth
I ensure that the door is locked
There’s something I want to do
but I can’t let anyone see me

I bring a box of tissues by my side
and a bottle of water too
I double-check the lock once more
no one’s going to disturb me now

I’ve been putting this off for a while
for the shame and guilt
That occurs when I’m found
the shame and guilt that’ll stay forever

I listened closely to hear any sound
once I was sure I was alone
I pulled my phone out
And opened the gallery to videos

I played a music video to test the audio
Pausing it, I tried to see if anyone’s near
It’s time! I won’t get this moment again
I scrolled a little to find the folder

I opened the folder, of the videos
all of them, downloaded yet not watched
I clicked on the first one
Please let it happen this time, I prayed

Tears ran down my cheeks
after watching so many sad videos
I felt ecstatic and sad, in that moment
I finally cried!

Surya T

Categories
Poems

I locked myself in the bathroom

I locked myself in the bathroom
submerged half my body in the tub
water slowly dripping from the tap
plop… plop… plop… plop… plop

the room was dark, lights turned off
my legs were pruned, submerged for so long
the water became cold
it was hot when it started

I looked at palm, skin pruned
I can see the cut I made
the blood is drained entirely
but I think I can hurt it more

I take a blade from the shaving kit
I break it into half
I toy around my forearm
and I cut the arm, slowly

the cut didn’t pain too much
I cut a little deeper, drawing blood
I put the hand under the tap
Right in the flow of the water

I turn on the tap, increasing the stream
it stung as the water dripped
over my arm, through the blood
the water slowly turned crimson red

the water slowly concentrated in red
I drew more blood from my palm
I drew a little more from the other
the water slowly became blood red

the timer rang, indicating 6 hours
I have a big day tomorrow
I have to save my blood
I have to do this again, tomorrow

Surya T

Categories
Poems

My heroes are not awesome

My heroes are not awesome
they are great at what they do
My heroes are not awesome
they have their own flaws
Each of my hero stood for something
but they only stood for that
I cannot idolize them
because there’s a dimension
of theirs I do not want at all
the dark side of my heroes

Surya T

Categories
Poems

Times moves without our consent

Time moves without our consent
It doesn’t respect our plans
It doesn’t respect our wishes and dreams
It doesn’t respect us at all

Surya T

Categories
Poems

How I loathed it once

I bring it close to my lips
awaiting and anticipating the pleasure
I suck in with all my might
the flavored air building inside
I felt peace for a moment
Nothing mattered anymore; death nor deadlines
I feel this peace fading away
Time for another hit
How I loathed it once, the thought
How I loved to loathe the people too
I wrote essays and debates
I wish I could apologize for all that
It was a time for someone else
to experience heaven on earth
I passed it off to them
while I eagerly waited my turn

Surya T

Categories
Poems

Pursuit of a Netflix Binge

On a night after a long, tired day
I wonder how I can pass my time
A run in the park, a session at the gym
a dinner in a restaurant or just nothing

There’s enough time to do a lot
I could go for a long run
get a good workout session in the gym
and cook my meal, a healthy one

I open Whatsapp, see what my friends
were doing this amazing evening
I text the group about their plans
no replies for a while

I look at Instagram as I wait
for a friend to join me at gym
I scroll through pictures of cats
and various other memes

A post showed up on my dash
a meme about a TV series
a series of quotes from it
and a funny interview clip

I searched for the TV series
found it was available on Netflix
I found what I’ll be doing now
binging all the seasons

I ordered some food for dinner
and started the TV series
the food came, and I finished eating
with the TV series as my company

Pursuing the Netflix binge
seeing my adrenaline surge
It felt amazing, as I finished each episode
It felt renewing and rejuvenating

Surya T