Moving On

I could see myself. This was new. I never saw myself like this before. I was looking different. But I shouldn’t, should I? The only sense that was working was sight. That would be quite an understatement. But I can say that my other senses are going numb. I think I know why.

I died a few moments ago.

That wasn’t something I had prior knowledge about. It just kind of, happened. A moment ago, I was alive and sleeping. Now, here I am, dead and stalking myself. A moment ago I had a body. And now, I am nothing. I understood that the body isn’t mine. My senses are slowly going numb. I don’t have the concept of time now. I am not waiting for anything, nor am I anxious to do something. Feels as if though, I was on a holiday after a long break from my work. Which, in a figurative sense, it is. I see everything happening, at the same time. This is weird. I am unable to see the concept of time.

My wife wakes up in a few moments, and absent mindedly trying to wake me up for the daily puja. She does that everyday without fail for the past 30 years we’ve been together. 30 years, has it happened? Felt like moments. There were hard times, but still, it was a lovely time. As I don’t wake up, she doesn’t understand what happened. Only after a while, does she realizes that I am not in a position to wake up anymore.

No more waking up. My wife always believed in the afterworld and I wasn’t as much as a believer as her. I read about this a lot in scriptures, but I preferred having one life. Sometimes, it felt heavy that one life was too much and on top of that, after life? But now, as I am experiencing that, I can say that it is there. It’s just a realization that people need to get it on their own, me merely saying something won’t help or won’t do any good.  I feel sad when I see my wife’s reaction. I wanted to live some more. Do things I wanted to do. Understand that one day this life will end and I should focus on my life and not make myself a slave to something that I don’t care about. My wife was realizing that I am dead and I am realizing that I wasn’t alive in my life. Life is crazy, huh?

As I was seeing the events unfold around my um… physical body, I tried naming this place. Not that it would catch on, but something to reference to you. Let’s call it The Bright Place. For a while, just adjust with it. As I was looking and trying to explore The Bright Place, I understood one thing. It is bright, like white, if that can be used to described what this place looks like. And no matter how far you go, you can see nothing. I thought that this would be populated with the other souls, so that I can talk to them and all, but nothing was present here.

A while later, I felt a warmth around my body. OOPS! Did I say body over there? Well, let’s say that’s my ghost. That sounds a little general than soul. As I saw, it was a body. I couldn’t understand. Why did my ghost get a body? Shouldn’t it be after this? Like, when I go to another life in another place?

Yes, but I can’t talk to a ghost. They run about all the time. Trying to pull tricks on me, came a voice. I looked around tried to find who said that. I am here, came the voice again. Same voice. I turned and looked in that direction. It was just behind me. Or He was just behind me. It went something like this.

He: I hope your journey was well.

Me: What journey?

He: The one you took 60 years for.

Me: Are you referring to my life?

He: Yes, I am. It was a journey that you took to learn.

Me: Oh, is it? I never thought like that.

He: Oh yeah. Before your journey, you gave a declaration that you’ll learn something and come back.

Me: I said that?

He: Yes, I was waiting for you. I am curious, what did you learn?

Me: Well, I was just thinking about how I thought I lived, but I wasn’t living, but just surviving?

He: Oh, is it? That sounds wonderful. But how many times will you learn that?

Me: I learnt that already?

He: Yes, for the past 100 times, you were saying this.

Me: Really?

He: Anyway, this time let’s do something else. Rather than just learning, live your life.

Me: Really?

He: Yes, but one condition. The moment you stop living, you’ll come back here.

Me: Does that mean I’m going back?

He: Yes, to the point where you thing you stopped living. And remember, the moment you stop living, you’ll come back here and this time, there’ll be consequences.

Me: okay, that is understood.

And I choose the date I was going for an interview. Joining in that company made my life miserable. And I said, this is the day I want to go. That is the time since when I stopped living. He was glad to accept and said, remember. And Wake Up!

Why is he saying Wake Up?

Wake Up!

Wake Up!

Wake Up!

I woke up to realize all that I have seen, heard and felt, was just a dream. But that reminded me of something that I forgot some time ago. Now that I know, I have one thing to do first. I opened my little chest of memories, and started digging. And I found it. It has been quite some time, but now I know what I should be doing. I took out the old manuscript that I wrote. And I started reading it!

 

Surya.

Follow your dreams. Make it a reality.

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