Day 3 : A page from a diary – Guess whose?

Oh my god! He’s staring at me. He turned me on and staring at me intensely. But why isn’t he doing anything? He’s just sitting there on the sofa and looking at me, while I am standing her waiting for him to do something. This idiot turned me on. What should I do now? Stand here hoping something would happen or ask him to do something? Wouldn’t that be desperate? Despite all that, even if I gather up my guts and ask him to do something, would he bother listening? When did he ever listen to me? He just stares at me every day. And I often wonder why I get mood swings.

Idiot. What the hell are you doing? Do something. Anything. Why are you leaving me like this? I wait all day for you to come home and when you come, you don’t even bother asking me how I am? Is that how we should be? You just sit on the sofa, and do nothing but stare at me like a brainless idiot. Who the hell do you think you are? These are the questions that I want to ask him. But even though I do ask him, would he give a damn to listen to what I am trying to say? This was my doubt.

We moved in together a long time ago. A year or two, I guess. I used to be with my friends back then. Even though strangers stared, ogled or leered at me, I had my friends to back me up. They always supported me. They always consoled me when I felt sad. I was in a relationship before. He let me stay with my friends and he took care of me like a princess. I always used to wonder, what if he was a king and I was his princess. Not the way he treats me, but in the literal sense. Whenever I was disturbed, he used to make sure I get better. He took really good care of me and I was happy when I was with him.

One day, he walked into my life. It was love at first sight. For both of us. I immediately hoped that we would move in together. I think my old boyfriend understood that. He made a deal which was a win for both of them. I didn’t care about that, as I was about to move in together with the love of my life. I thought that he understood what I wanted and he loved me enough to support me for that. A while later, when I was sleeping, I felt that I was being carried and by the time I woke up, I was in his home. I was overjoyed. Euphoria would be the right word to describe the state of happiness I was in then. It was a miracle, I thought. It was back then.

And there he goes. He stares at me for a while and he goes to her. What does he see in her? She is smaller than I am. Bulkier than me. She has a lot of baggage. All of us could see that. Is that what he sees in her? My parents made sure that I was in the right size, as thin as I can get. What does he see in her? Our common friends told me that she gave him access to many people that he never would have met without her. Is that what he wants? I would only know if he would tell me. I can’t read his mind. I just hope he tells me what he wants. I love him so much.

I hope the golden old days would come back.

– A page in the diary of a TV

This is the day 3 of the 31 day my500words challenge. You can also join the challenge at the following link ->  http://goinswriter.com/my500words/

Surya.

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