And as my energy rises to the peak, I stand straight, with my head held high, facing the sun, shining bright, to make myself visible for him. It was a proud moment for me. I was completely charged for the day and I will take my rest at night again. Only if he doesn’t drain a lot of my energy. A lot of questions or messages, I will be drained of my energy.
He knows that. I have told him many a time. Many others did the same thing. But sometimes he just gets cranky and does the same thing which drains me of my energy. But what can I do. I am just a tool in his hands. If he wants to make good use with me, then that is his choice. If he wants to while away his time with me, that is also his choice. I have no say in his matters. Nor even in mine. When did my life become like this? I was called a messenger. I behaved like one. And I always stayed one. Isn’t he the one who changed? Isn’t he the one hoping for something from he? Hoping for something from me that I cannot give. But alas, as I said, I don’t have matters in my own hands. It is in his. I am his. And I shall be. I have been changed hands, many times. I’ve been admired by many and I’ve also been criticized by many.
But in the end, they need me. And that is where I come in. It might be them operating me, but it is me operating them to operate me. It hasn’t been a long time since I came into this world. And I have already created many destructive things in this world than anything could ever do. That is my power. That is what they never understand. I have the power to destroy the entire world. They can leave me for a while, but they always have to come back to me. That is their destiny.
A few of them have recognized the power I have with myself. They have tried to turn the others against me, but they weren’t successful. Isn’t that a proud moment for me? My entire life, I am proud. No one dares to treat me roughly. They treat me like a princess and I don’t return the favour. I give them things to do. I remind them of the alarm they hit snooze to. I show them the updates of what their friends have achieved and make them feel like shit. This is the life I lead. A destructive one. Not for me. But for everyone who comes near me.
I sometimes feel like asking myself what Imagine Dragons have asked If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me? And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared? But the world, even after it knows what I am and how dangerous I can be, will never leave me. They will never leave.
Because I am their drug. Because I AM their drug.
-A page from the diary of a smartphone
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