Day 13 Journal entry

Another day of my efforts to go to gym are gone. And I woke up with the same guilt that encompasses me every day. Being guilty of not exercising. It helps me in maintaining my health, it helps me burn the excess fat from my body, it helps me prepare for the 5k run that I’ve been waiting for, it keeps me active throughout the day. But I wouldn’t do that. Because it is easier to sleep in than going to the gym. I know that it would help me in writing. I know that it would make me more presentable. I know it makes me feel better about myself. It doesn’t matter if I have achieved something in my life. I shouldn’t be fat. This was the concept that had entered my mind for a long time. Although that is not what I would like to believe, it is hard for me to make the paradigm shift out of it. The result is actually true. If I am more presentable, then I would give out more confidence and radiance. If I am not fat, I can fit into my suit, which has become very tight for me. If I can run a lot, for a long time, then I could finish my goal of 5k run. But sleeping in is easier than doing any of this. Lazing around is a best reward now, for all the regrets that I am going to face tomorrow. I know that, still I sleep in.

Some days, I wake up, go to the gym in the cold weather, try my best to finish a work out. Running on the treadmill is not a great task, if done for 5 minutes. I go till 30 minutes, with little slow walking to make sure I catch my breath. It would be a fun workout in the gym, but going there to try doing all the things that I have to do, the thought itself is terrifying.

Anyway, after the guilt, I went for breakfast, which on a Sunday, at my place, is not so great. I manage to eat something, just to stop myself from starving (not that I would actually starve if I don’t eat breakfast. I would definitely eat something after a while) Later, I decided that I would meet an old friend. And the first person that came into my mind was a dear friend, Viraj. It was a long time ago, that I had promised him that I would meet him for dinner. And till now, excuses showed up, but the dinner didn’t. Now, that I have decided to meet him, I texted him, hoping that he would reply and would be able to meet. There he was, ready and has time to meet me. After what can only be told as a stupid way to find a way to his place, I reached there and we ended up having a nice time. Meeting his was the best decision I’ve taken yesterday. Thanks man, you’re the best.

And as we bid goodbye, we ended up talking about working out. He has decided to go to gym everyday now and that had given me the motivation to start working out. Thanks for that dude.

With my new found motivation, I had started back home, to start the workout. And there begins… my race.

Surya

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